Rob and God

Bold title isn't it! That's how He makes me feel sometimes - as if it's just Him & me, and the world.

This relationship officially began 7 days after I was born. That's when I was Baptized. I've since learned that God knew me before I was born, therefor the relationship begins even earlier.

Throughout my life there have been numerous examples of how God has provided for me and that's how I know that the relationship exists. I've enjoyed more blessings than I can count. The three most important and influential blessings have been;

1 - I was born with a healthy body and mind. Lots of people start life without such a blessing.

2 - I was born to good parents. Dad is the most dependable person I know and Mom gives unconditional love. Both have worked, sacrificed and suffered much for their children.

3 - I came to realize the first two blessings. Knowledge of these blessings has given me strength, faith and confidence, while providing me with all the tools needed to live happy.

I didn't always feel this way. When I was a teenager, the rebel in me wanted to break out. I felt indestructible, independent, cocky, adventurous and intelligent. I thought I knew everything and could do anything. I didn't need family, security, money or even God. That was when I blamed Mom, Dad and God for all the problems in my life. It was also the start of two decades of decadence.

Then, in November 1997, after plenty of soul searching, I returned to Church. It was surprisingly difficult for me to enter the Church after so many years away. I didn't just wander in one day on a whim. It took a concerted effort to walk up the stairs to the door.

After 20 something years of garnering money, women, glory and possessions, I had become like a spent pop can. I seemed strong, but easy to crush; nice looking package outside, but nothing inside; useful, but discarded; valuable, but only to the hungry; sweet, but not very healthy. I had confused fame with infamy and built my reputation from lust. Returning to Church was not going to be easy.

There were several reasons for my return to Church, but mostly I was feeling empty, alone and confused. I was doing everything I knew to be successful, but it all failed. My path to fame & fortune was leading to my destruction. Something was telling me that I will find peace when I return to Church. I don't know where this notion came from, but it was overwhelming. Then, one Sunday morning I actually worked up the nerve to do it - and my life changed.

That was about eight years ago. Life has improved dramatically since then. As it says in a devotional poem I keep, "He has taken away all of my dreams and plans... He has given me more than I could ever ask for or even dream of."

A perfect example of His way of guiding me is when I developed a hernia. The stomach pain was constant enough for me to know something was wrong, so I visited my doctor. The first set of tests revealed that I am pre-diabetic (metabolic syndrome). I asked the doctor if that was causing the pain. He said no and I had to go for more tests. The second set of tests determined I had a hernia.

About one third of the people who have diabetes or pre-diabetes, don't know they have it. Too often diabetes is diagnosed after a person has suffered one of it's crippling effects, like blindness, kidney failure or nervous system damage. I don't know if the hernia is caused by pre-diabetes or not, but if it hadn't developed, I wouldn't have known about my condition.

Now, after two years of lifestyle adjustments, I have the diabetes under control. I feel like I'm in my twenties again and I'll probably stay fit for the rest of my life. All thanks to a hernia, so I thank God for it. By the way, the hernia slowly healed over time due to my lifestyle improvements.

I recognize my hernia to be, at the least, a blessing and at the most, a miracle. Either way, I feel like I had no choice in how things unfolded, except in how I react to the blessing. That's where my third blessing comes in handy - knowing my first blessing, tells me I am responsible for keeping my mind & body in good working order - knowing my second blessing gives me courage and endurance to achieve my goals.

There are several other examples of God's presence in my life. Each is a story in itself. I want to tell you a story which demonstrates how God watches over us all.

A boy and his father, who is a doctor, were walking along a trail together. As the boy was gazing at some birds along the forest trail, he stumbled on a rock, fell and broke his leg. The father, being a good doctor and loving parent, immediately took the boy to the hospital and did his best to set the leg and cast it. The boy felt most grateful to his dad for taking such good care of him.

Now - the same story, except in this case the father goes ahead of the boy and removes the rock. The boy avoids the stumble is never aware of the danger. The father has done even more for his son than before by preventing the ordeal, but does the boy feel as grateful as if he had fallen?

God has been removing the rocks from my life all along and I want to be as grateful as if I had to endure the falls in life. It seems like God's message here is something like, if you want to do something good for someone, it should look like you've done nothing at all. This way you're doing it for goodness sake and not for glory and recognition.

In my rebellious days, I thought I was in control of my ship (my life's journey). When I returned to Church I believed God was in control of my ship and He was drawing me towards Him. But, then I realized, He is not directly controlling my ship, He gave me the ship and provides a light for me to steer towards. Along the way he removes dangers from my path.